If I had to guess, I wrote this in August, 2007…

I find myself extremely emotional lately.  I’m not sure for how long now, it didn’t happen over night, and by any means it’s not everyday.  It comes and goes in waves and the intensity is like a fire burning deep within my soul.

I’m learning to embrace it.  To no only embrace it, but to welcome it.  For you see, I am no stranger to tears, but an old friend.  The difference is, I have changed.  My old tears were tears of hurt and pain–of self-pity.  Old wounds were constantly reopened by new ones.  Although many times I may have put on a “happy” face, in my world I was secretly playing the victim; only I wasn’t aware of it.

I don’t know exactly when my tears changed.  Maybe they never really did, but it was “I” that had changed.  For instance, I’ve always cried at sad parts in movies and when someone was happy on TV.  However, the intensity of emotion now is indescribable.  For I feel as if my tears are no longer mine, as if they don’t belong to me, but are of something greater inside me.

People used to always comment on how strong of a person I was.  The truth is, I never felt strong.  Today, I can stand here and honestly tell you, I am strong.  I am strong because He lives inside me.  I have survived because He loves me, I have overcome because of His patient love, amazing grace, and the determination He placed in my heart to know Him more; to not give up and to put my faith (trust) in Him.

If you are an old friend to tears of hurt and pain, you too can say goodbye; for there is a MUCH better friend, “Jesus”.  You too can “cast all your cares upon Him’ for He “never leaves us nor forsakes us”.  It is us that abandons Him and it breaks His heart and causes Him tears of sadness.  He wants YOU to reach out and trust Him.  If you never have, or it’s been a while, I strongly urge you to call on Jesus…He will gladly walk with you and wipe away your tears.

Psalms 30:5
For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.